I see on facebook a lot now a days that people are just now getting engaged, married, having kids. Mike and I already have a four and one year old.
I think about these crazy weddings that people throw. I'm not hating on the crazy wedding. I'm somewhat jealous in my own little way because my husband and I decided to keep things modest and not have a circus for our special day. Sometimes I just wish people would have taken us more seriously. No bridal shower with gifts of kitchen appliances or anything. I never even registered everywhere. Which... was actually great. My wedding was about me being happy with getting married- not wondering what plates we were going to be gifted with. Of course I was told because we had a small wedding, we'd have a big housewarming party the first time we bought a house, but I'm still waiting for that, haha. We've been here two years. At this point, we got what we need. No engagement party. No one gave a shit that we got engaged when we were nineteen. No pictures or newspaper announcements. Our kids weren't baptized so no extra parties for them.
I never even asked for these sorts of parties or wanted these sorts of parties. I don't care about the gifts. I don't want the gifts. But- at times... it feels like because I wasn't a bridezilla, or wasn't wanting to have anything flashy, or even because we were so young no one really took us seriously. We didn't rent grand halls to celebrate things. We just lived simply. And I think because of this friends fell out of touch because their lives were still in 'party mode' and I was pregnant with Madison three months after we got married. Honestly? I had a lot of friends at the time. Little to none of them gave a crap that I was having a baby and just... disappeared. One even told their mother (which was relayed to my mother later on) that I wasn't any fun anymore. Apologies for not wanting to show up at a bar pregnant. That's just tacky.
People just seem to get more love an acceptance now over these 'big life events' because... well honestly, lots of people have matured. While our events went hardly noted and quite honestly, even 'dissed' in private. We have a beautiful life right now and I wouldn't change a thing, but it's hard to admit that I do get jealous of the raving that others seem to get now that they're starting to catch up, like it's more socially acceptable now to be happy that someone is settling down whether it be by having a kid, or getting married. No one really raved for me, which was fine becuase I was still just as happy. Just now thinking back- it's kind of a bummer sometimes.
3 comments:
Lindsey I raved for you and Mike on each life event, your wedding day was beautiful, it was emotional for both me and Mike Sr. when you said your vows we cried out of happiness and love for your day, and when Madison and Lily were born we couldn't have been more excited, more happy, and we just absolutely adore the girls. Whether big wedding or smaller it's "the people" not the event type, and your wedding was beautiful, both Mike and I were very emotional on your special day, and we couldn't be more proud of both you and Mike, we adore you guys xoxo <3 Love you, Barbara
I have to tell you, I really identified with this. I didn't "start" as early as you and Mike - I was 23 when I got married - but from the modest wedding (our reception was held at a firehouse) to the sudden drop-off of friends (my two "best friends" didn't even show-up), I can relate to what you're talking about. I felt like people treated our marriage like a fluke, or a youthful indiscretion that was going to leave us lonely and miserable in less than a decade. I remember hearing, "Why tie yourself down so young," "What's your hurry," "Why get married so fast?" and fighting the urge to actually give these people legitimate answers.
When I found out I was pregnant at 25 - which, truthfully I don't consider young - there was the friend drop-off again. More subtle this time, but it was clear we were no longer "fun." I was so happy and yet I felt like I didn't have anyone my age to share it with. And while I can't knock the bar scene (20 to 22 was a drunken haze), most of my friends were too busy living out their youth from bar to bar and staggering home at 2 AM. They didn't get it. And truthfully, I was lonely.
I'm genuinely happy for everyone who's just starting their own journey into domesticity, but thank you for saying it better than I could have - who decided when marriage and kids became "socially acceptable?!"
Like you, I wouldn't change a thing. Our wedding was low-budget, haphazard, and probably a little redneck, but it was the best day of my life, second to the day James was born. I always wanted to start young - be a young wife, and a young mom. And once I found the person I wanted to so that wit, I couldn't imagine delaying one second our of life together. I'm glad you found the same. (Screw the haters, LOL!)
Sorry for my life story - just loved this blog entry!
Love how engaging and raw this is. Your blog is an emotional rollercoaster from comedic to dramatic.
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